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Tying Loose Ends

Answers to Often Unasked Questions

This is a quick post regarding things people may have questions about, but probably don't want to ask.

Does adopting during the current Coronavirus scare feel different?

  • Yes. I would not say these are all feelings specific to adoption. I think most parents, whether through adoption or not, have some weird feelings about protecting an infant during these times. For us specifically we see communication breakdowns that are the result of our agency not being able to interact as normally or freely as they usually do with hospitals, clinics, us, and potential birthmothers. It isn't all bad, but sometimes we feel like information is a bit disjointed...because it usually is. We recently completed a home study update...via video call. Its strange and adds to the disjointed feeling generally experienced by our society today.

Why are you raising $10,000 dollars this time? (we raised $20,000 last time)

  • When we were raising money to adopt last time, we planned on completing our adoption through Bethany Christian Services (called a domestic adoption). The agency does not collect that full amount up front, but in stages as you progress through an adoption. (Click here to see the steps to adopt and the money required at each step.) We paid close to $15,000 becoming prospective adoptive parents, but the agency charges additional amounts as a child is placed in your home. When we adopted Evelyn, it ended up being a private adoption, meaning it was not completed through our agency. The remaining raised funds completed Evelyn's adoption fees rather than going to the agency. We did need the agency to certify and complete our home study for the court, so that partnership was not without benefit. We had not planned on a private adoption, but God provided in a wonderful way. Anyhow, we are raising $10,000 this time because we are not starting all over with our agency, but from where we left off when we put things on pause after adopting Evelyn.

Are you ready for another child?

  • Yes. We would really like another child. We really think Evelyn would love a little brother or sister. Siblings are awesome.

Is Emmett (our dog) ready for another baby?

  • I think he will manage now that Evelyn is feeding him really well at the dinner table. He might realize another baby represents future tasty treats. He and Evelyn get along quite well. 

You were remodeling some of your house when you were preparing for Evelyn last time. How is that going?

  • The work never ends, but thankfully no current projects involve sanding drywall. The work also never ends because we are doing it all ourselves and don't have tons of money to throw at it. Fortunately, we have already passed our home study so we don't feel the same pressure to replace the rotting floors and cabinets of an old kitchen like we did that first time around. That is the headache of buying a foreclosure. 

How's your relationship with Evelyn's birthmother?

  • This is a big one, and is probably one of the most asked questions. For those of you who haven't asked, now you'll know. How's your relationship with Evelyn's birthmother? We think it is good. That's subjective, of course. We have fairly regular if occasionally sporadic interaction with Evelyn's birthmother. Our hope has always been to maintain some form of open relationship with birthparents. We believe that if that relationship can be healthy, it will help Evelyn later in life. Adopted children tend to have questions about the circumstances of their adoption as they get older, and an open relationship with her birthmother will be another resource for Evelyn to get answers and assurance from. This might be strange to think about, but these are also the realities of adoption.

If you have any other questions, please feel free to ask us!

Thank you for partnering with us in helping build our family. We appreciate all the thoughts and prayers sent our way. We have some quilts for sale! Please contact one of us if you're interested! The money goes directly to our adoption fund.